Now That's TV Talent
by not so funny comedian
Summary: rated R just in case. Some of out favorite and not so favorite superstars from both rosters go on some t.v shows and the results may not be pretty. Kurt and Matt first chap


A/N- Hiya again! I know my stupid profile thingy says I have three stories but I don't. This is my second story. I know that this is an over-used plot, but I like it, so I decided to write one. At first, I couldn't figure out whwether to do a kareoke (fun!) or a talk show thing. So expect a kareoke story out soon. Alrighty, 'enough blabbity blab' (David Spade, Just Shoot Me. guest appearance, Hugh Hefner)  
  
  
Disclaimer- I own none of the superstars, but I wish I owned Shawn Michaels and Jeff Hardy. *sigh* don't we all?  
  
  
  
DOPRAH  
  
(boy, what a creative title. *whoops* better mop up that sarcasm that dripped on the keyboard before I go on)  
  
  
  
Sound of Mr. Movie-Phone: And now, for your inbore... errr.... enjoyment, welcome to Doprah, with your host Doprah!  
  
  
*Crickets chirp as Doprah comes out*  
  
  
Doprah- Well, welcome to Doprah. I, the mighty Doprah, am here to answer your problems-  
  
  
Audience Member- Try some Slim Fast BLOAT-RAH!  
  
  
Doprah- (ignores audience laughter) Today we have some very very special guests. Now first, before we start, I want to answer some of your questions. Now, does any one have any questions?  
  
  
*Crickets chirp. finally some one raises their hand*  
  
  
*Doprah tries to get up, and finally makes it to the woman with the chair stuck to her ass*  
  
  
Doprah- Yes dear, oh don't cry. Doprah is here.  
  
  
Woman- I don't know-  
  
  
Doprah- It's alright, Doprah can help you with anything.  
  
  
Woman- Anything?  
  
  
Doprah- ANYTHING  
  
  
Woman- Well, ok. Well, lately, I've been noticing that I am getting a little overweight-  
  
  
Doprah- (cuts off) Well, that's all the time we have for questions. Now, after this commercial break, we will meet our first guest.  
  
  
**COMMERCIAL**  
  
  
Doprah- Well, well, well, welcome back to Doprah. Now, our first guest is having a few insecurities so please take it easy on him. Please welcome one of my favorites, KURT ANGLE!!  
  
  
*Kurt's theme comes on and everyone starts chanting 'You Suck' Tears spring to Kurts eyes*  
  
  
Doprah- Now, now, ladies and Gentlemen, please remember, everone has feelings nad you just hurt Kurt's.  
  
  
Audience Member- Who cares? Kill the Queer!  
  
  
*Kurt takes out his teddy and starts to cry into it as he takes a seat*  
  
  
Doprah- Now, Kurt, I've heard that you have been having a few insecurities.  
  
  
Kurt- *sniffles* Yes.  
  
  
Doprah- Now, is it because you are over-weight, or because you are mentally retarded, or maybe because you are seen as a gay baby who thinks his seven year old metals are-  
  
  
Kurt- (Crying) You people are so mean! YOU suck! YOU suck, not me! It's true, it's true!  
  
  
*Kurt runs off crying and drops his teddy bear. Sheepishly runs out, picks it up and sticks his tounge out at the audience. Waves stupid metals before running back backstage.*  
  
  
Doprah- Well, that was interesting. Now, when we come back, we will have our final guest. Stick around, you won't want to miss this!  
  
  
**COMMERCIAL**  
  
Doprah- Well, if our sponsers aren't nice.... Now, please give a mighty mighty welcome to our final guest, MATT HARDY!  
  
  
*Hardy Boyz theme comes on*  
  
*Matt comes out clutching a picture*  
  
  
Doprah- Now, Matt. So nice to see you. Now, I, the great Doprah, have heard that you have recently lost some one very special to you.  
  
  
Matt- *nods* *wimpers*  
  
  
Doprah- Is that a picture of the 'Beloved'? (little pun there, if you didn't catch it. Beloved was a 1990's movie Oprah was in)  
  
  
Matt- *nods* *wimpers* Yeah.  
  
  
Doprah- Now, who is it?  
  
  
Matt- L-L-L-Lita.  
  
  
Audience member- She's not dead!  
  
  
Matt- She is in my heart. She left me for another man.  
  
  
Audience Member- She could leave you for another woman and I'd still be happy for her.  
  
  
Matt- *sniffles* Shuddup. I'm xtreme. Not you.  
  
  
Audience Woman- Yeah, extreme ASS  
  
  
Another woman- Yeah, bring Jeff out here!  
  
  
Matt- You suck!  
  
  
Audience member- (sounding strangly like yours truly) That's weird, cause I heard the same thing about you from Kurt Angle  
  
  
Matt- I HATE you! And I hateyou, Doprah, go drink another Coke-rah. And I hate you Lita the Peeta  
  
  
*Matt runs backstage tearing the picture of Lita to shreds.*  
  
  
Doprah- Well, if that wasn't an interesting episode. Now go out and by me, the great Doprah, a dozen chocolate bars. I will donate them to charity! (mumbles) the 'feed doprah' charity  
  
  
  
Stay tuned next week when we find out whats going on on Rosie! 


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